Walking It Out

 Hi! I had to move to another platform due to this one having too many issues. My new address is: https://hillboone.wixsite.com/blog Have a wonderful day!

  Sometimes the most difficult "send me" response from the Lord is being told to remain. We crave a deeper, richer, more intimate relationship with the Lord and are ready to be obedient to whatever and wherever He calls us... Then His response is to remain.  There are so many layers that come to my mind when I think about the difficulty of remaining.  The first thing that comes up for me is that I can get frustrated when told to remain. It's as if I'm on punishment, I'm being held back (as in not being promoted in school). My heart really wants to do more for Him but yet He instructs me to remain. My mind goes to self-righteous thoughts; what can I do differently, what did I do wrong...all centered on my behavior, performance and capabilities.  Lord, help me see the error in my ways. Titus 3:5 ESV "He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit"....

  Recently I found things coming out of my mouth that truly surprised me. I genuinely didn't know I was struggling. I didn't realize pride, judgement and criticism was rising up in me. And boy did it stink, it was horribly ugly and not okay at all. Not to make excuses but it started out as legitimate concerns but become a self-righteous stance as if I was the ultimate gatekeeper to protect others. When I finally saw it, I was having to balance out seeking God's help to uncover it all, renounce it, and repent all while fighting off the enemies attacks of extreme condemnation. I wanted to crawl in a hole. I felt like I didn't deserve to be in community, in relationship, etc.  I found myself hearing from the Lord that I've always fell short (and always will) and He's always loved me the same (and always will). That I need to continue to uncover my broken pieces so He can come in and I can finally allow Him to love me in these places. He even kindly showed me how th...

  When I sit and reflect on where we are the strongest, and conversely where we are attacked the most, relationships come to mind. When sin entered via Adam and Eve, their relationship with God was hurt, as well as their own relationship (Adam blaming Eve). There are numerous passages of scripture teaching us the importance of fellowship, fighting for unity and not forsaking meeting together. We aren't meant to be alone. Just like the powerful impact His Holy Spirit has on us when we are in His presence, there's importance in our presence and all of us coming together. When we follow Christ we have His Spirit within us and His spirit touches others in our presence. We are designed by God to edify, encourage, and remind one another of who our Father is, what He is capable of and who we are in Him! Sometimes we are giving and sometimes we are receiving.  I'm continually in awe of His intricate and beautiful design. We are hurt through relationships but we are also healed thro...

  It's okay to want more and more of the Lord. More of His presence, His healing, His wisdom, His leading, His love, His everything! In our natural life it's commonly seen as being greedy or a negative attribute to be craving and wanting more; being insatiable. However, those are just misdirected cravings. We are designed by God to want more and more of Him.  I've been in the book of Acts a lot this week and this morning I'm reading chapters 7 and 8. I'm struck by so many things in these passages but what stayed with me this morning is how we need to receive the Holy Spirit. I have been filled with the Holy Spirit for about 6 years now and I find myself trying to explain this importance to other believers. As I read in Acts 8, I'm noticing more that we need the boldness and the 'in your face' power of the Holy Spirit to reach the lost. It is with His miraculous signs, deliverance, and healings that even those deep into the occult were saved.  Peter and J...

For the last few months I've been really walking out the simplicity in God's call for our life. I really try to boil down all of the complexities and find the direct path. I don't always succeed, I'm all too often distracted and easily excited by another shiny object but in the end I'm able to go back to the simple callings of the Lord.  I have a lot on my mind and heart but I'll try my best to simmer this down into a clear message. The more time I spend with the Lord over these years, the more discernment He gives me.  In with this discernment and looking for the simplicity in His calling, I'm noticing our need to be delivering people, including believers, from demonic torment. Jesus taught, delivered and healed everywhere He went. Why is deliverance and healing such a controversial topic even within the church in the US? The gifts of the Spirit are often hot topics too which keep many believers from the fullness of the Lord that they are granted but that...

For the past week I’ve been in quiet reflection. I’ve been walking through and processing some things that are more personal. I considered writing about them in a way that doesn’t disclose too much but I felt like God kept telling me it was just a time for me and Him. I think it’s important for us to always be reassessing and listening for His guidance in all things. Not just the big stuff. I didn’t go through anything tremendously difficult this past week or anything I would consider too personal, but the Lord made it abundantly clear that I was to rest, and just lean in.  I’m sharing this because all too often I feel like we hear or know that we need to rest and lean in closer to the Lord but we find reasons not too; responsibilities, distractions, etc. Rest and quiet reflection time with the Lord is so abundantly important for our growth, healing, centering and ability to overflow to others. Psalm 46:10  “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. ...

  I have just been reflecting on God's goodness these past few days and how well He takes care of His children. Even when we aren't in a place where we can fully see it, He's working. I keep thinking about a commonly referenced verse: Luke 6:38 Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.” This morning I started to see this verse differently than I have in the past. In the past I saw it as a promise for good works. More of a tenet for life about judging others and forgiving others.  During this period of my life I'm finding myself just following one step at a time. Literally, this is what He's having me do. I'm just constantly seeking His will and His plans and He's only revealing one step at a time and I'm doing my best to hear what I need to do and obey. To be honest, I'm a planner and it can be pr...

I'm going to get a little more personal today, a bit vulnerable because I know God uses our pain, growth and healing in the Kingdom.  I genuinely believe this is my life verse: Genesis 50:20  You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.  God has walked me through so many things in my life and is continuing to do so. These past few months I've been struggling on and off with physical attacks. Or should I say, it's become more obvious to me that the pain I'm feeling and experiencing is not just a natural issue. It started becoming apparent to me while in worship at church. There would be times I walk into church or the presence of another believer and my pain would vanish. Then there would be times that during the heat of worship, when I was completely immersed in His presence, my body would start completely aching with pain and typically my throat would feel blocked which would make it...

Do you ever have an idea or a concept you're trying to communicate but just fumble it up? It seems like that only happens to me when I'm either trying to connect by showing I care, or expressing something genuine in a form of a complement or encouragement. I'm not even talking about the 'insert foot in mouth' moments that happen when we're in an argument; yikes, that's a different post for another day! I've been observing a lot of the "stepping in it" phenomenon lately and recently went through it myself too.  Why does it hurt so deeply to be misunderstood when we're trying to express love, compassion, connection, and or admiration? When I was praying about this last night I felt like the Lord was showing how it brings up rejection. We are designed to be connected, love and care for one another but not find our value and place from these relationships. Nothing good comes for us or others when we have the spirit of rejection sitting upon us....

  Your tears aren't lost on me child. I see and feel you. You are seen and felt. All good things come from me and if the world acknowledges empathy as good, how perfect is mine? I sit in your pain with you, feel the agony, grief, loneliness and misery with you; wrapping my arms of perfect peace around you. Let me sooth you, let me love you, let me wipe away your tears and help hold your pain with you. In your brokenness I can show you all the more who you are to me; you can trust my complete and perfect love. Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 56:8 You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. John 14:...

  I don't know about you but I struggle keeping a consistent exercise routine up without having a goal to be focused on. I walk to keep my cortisol levels down and move my body as it was designed for. For other exercises I typically need to have a goal of working on improving myself in a sport. The first time I went snowboarding I could only hang in there half a day before my back was done and that motivated me to do workouts specifically geared at improving snowboarding. Four weeks later when I hit the slopes again, I performed so much better and it didn't wear me out at all. This morning I was pondering this and how it's similar with the spiritual. Our daily exercises of praying, being in the word and worshiping become more focused, intentional and amplified when we have direction, a purpose and a place to outpour what we have been given.  Just like sports and physical exercise, our bodies are meant to move. We are designed to share our gifts, share what God's doing i...

  As I read through Judges 7:1-8:21 I'm pondering why the Israelites say, "Oh God of Jacob, Abraham and Issac"? Is it to remind God's people that what God does for one follower, he can and will do for all? He shows up for believers and wants to display His unimaginable love. In Gideon's (Jerub-baal) story in this part of Judges, his army was reduced by the Lord from 22,000 to 10,000 to 300! That's a HUGE difference. For perspective, most basketball arenas hold around 20,000-22, 000 people and that's what he started with. Then the Lord reduced that by half. Which is already a significant cut. Then he reduced it down to 300. 300! My daughter's graduating high school class had more in it than that in Las Vegas. The Lord did this because he wanted His people to know without a shadow of doubt that it was His doing, not their own.  Then, he made provision for Gideon's unsteady feeling from reducing his troops by drastic measures by giving him a specific ...

  I'm a body person, meaning I've always enjoyed playing sports, thrived in PE class and just can feel my body's need to be active. As I get older my body gets stiff a lot easier, it's not quite as flexible and discomfort seems to be a regular thing. I was playing beach volleyball yesterday for a few hours and I don't know how to be all or nothing with sports, so today I'm quite stiff!  I look at my son and remember what it's like to be so flexible that it is actually difficult to stretch muscles out. In the spiritual it's the same for him, his boldness makes him not even notice or appreciate where God is stretching him at times. He just walks through it with an open posture. Me on the other hand...wow I feel every stretch God puts on me lately. I have a specific look, an attitude on my face that says, "yeah I'll do it but God it would be nice if you could just let me chill a while".  In the natural I think about all of the benefits of stre...

As I sit this morning reflecting on the past week I'm thinking about how important it is to be grounded in God's word. Our enemy is so cunning and the stronger we get and further we get on our Christian walk the more covert the attacks can become. Or possibly we missed a lot of the smaller nuances and are just more attuned to what he's throwing our way.  My mind keeps going to this notion that the most well intentioned Christian brother and sister (and us towards others too) could be unintentionally planting seeds within us that harvest weeds and not fruit bearing trees. Well, because none of us are perfect and areas of our heart still need mending and healing. These areas of hurt within us can muddle up our advice. Without being aware we can plant seeds of fear, division, carnality, and pride. Once again, this doesn't mean we should avoid community. We need to grow, live, grieve and celebrate together. Our power is in sharing of our continual testimony with one another...

  I have been prayerfully seeking the best way to communicate what is on my heart about this topic and for the focus to be based in the word. As a professional counselor, I can without a doubt say that self improvement can lead many further away from the Lord opposed to closer. Just for sake of clarity and transparency, I began seeking counseling the first time in my early 20's due to emotional distress. I was in emotional and mental agony. I was tormented by suicidal thoughts, and often times spirits of fear, depression, self hatred would consume me. I needed help. Sadly, this type of counseling just focused more and more on me and wasn't helpful long term. I could white knuckle it and change my behavior for a period of time but the attacks would eventually wear me out again. The messages I received from the counseling and self help community was that I needed to dig deeper into myself and gather more tools, practice more...etc. All that was reinforcing was that I needed to be...

 I'm so very thankful that I have had people teach me about the importance of spending time with the Lord. I can't proclaim that enough! Initially, I didn't quite see the payout or immediate benefits but over time I realized how much I need that time every day. Earlier on my walk I would just notice my emotional life (and resulting decisions) would get messier and messier as time went on without me having my alone time in the word, praying and worshiping. However, that was just a turning point. I feel like as time goes on, my alone time with the Lord just gets more and more saturated with His love, healing, guidance, peace and direction. I not only know I need it, I crave it. I always have more pieces of my heart that need mending. Life is painful and sometimes we are faced with situations we can not do anything about at all. It can be completely heartbreaking. The only true and pure comfort we receive is from the Lord, His supernatural peace. The only sure thing we can put...

  For years I was praying, believing, crying, grieving, almost giving up, holding on for dear life, praising and waiting. I'm finally on the other side of that now, walking in victory and enjoying a shifted perspective. Don't get me wrong, I still have issues and problems but I just see it differently and am more focused on the goodness of God. I'm now contemplating what I learned, what God showed me, and how to pass that on as encouragement to other's still in the thick of their battle(s).  What stands out to me is an anchor, presented as a promise from the Lord. The bible is filled with promises over our lives for those who believe and follow Him. Find your specific promise. Meditate on it regularly and continuing to seek the Lord as to what in your heart needs to fall into alignment with Him. He wants so much more for you than to deliver you from that pain. He wants to grow your understanding of who you are in Him, His love for you, His plans for you, and the power o...

  I've been finding myself reflecting a lot lately on different types of people. Christians and non Christians alike. I am just observing and taking it in, non judgmentally. This focus started when my son started inquiring about the different denominations and why we have so many. I'm always looking for the boiled down, most basic simple answer because that's where I believe the truth lives. When we read the bible, it is constantly taking super complex concepts and ideas and making them basic and palatable for everyone who seeks to understand. When our hearts soften toward the Lord, and our eyes begin to open we start to see more and more of the beautiful simplicity that is within a complex and unfathomable God.   The more I observe, the more I see that personal experiences with the Lord regularly transform people. Many of us walk around with lots of knowledge and that's great but the Holy Spirit is what transforms us. We need to seek him regularly so our point of view ...

  I don't know about you, but I have certain areas that I fight God on, having a hard time truly giving these areas to Him. Fully trusting Him, fully obeying Him in those moments that feel so raw, vulnerable and scary. In this season I've been dealing with really letting go of worrying what other people think of me. Don't get me wrong, in secular standards and even by many Christian's standards I don't have an unhealthy amount of anxiety or worry attached to the opinions of other people. However, God has exposed a few pockets where this gets in the way of me living my full life with Him and having Him shine bright through me. I get words of encouragement, visions, wisdom and prophecy for people at different times. Well, lately it's been quite often...if I'm honest, at times it's a bit too often. I don't want people to confuse my actions as someone trying to get attention or glory. I honestly have struggled with that surrounding writing in this blog a...

  As I walked the shoreline this morning I noticed all of the objects reflecting the same hue the sun was shining. Reminding me once again, we don’t bring the light, we don’t power the light. All we do I align ourself with Christ and he illuminated us. We become a beacon in the darkness. As I look around, I notice that even dull, lifeless objects are getting illuminated. Whew, then I think about the glass that has taken years of beating from these salty, wet winds.  Pitted reflective surfaces are more attractive to the eye, it glimmers. We are even more attractive when we don’t glaze over our shortcomings and act like we have it all together. When we walk in humility, admitting we are weak and nothing without Christ we sparkle, reflecting even more facets of the Lord. ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭ “But he answered me, “My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.” So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak ...

  Have you ever noticed how some people just draw other people toward them? From my point of view some people draw others near, seemingly effortlessly; while others seem to lure them in. Obviously there are many people in between but I'm talking about people that act like magnets. Just like in the kingdom of God, there seems to be negatively charged magnets and positively charged magnets.  When I notice positively charged magnets in the body of Christ, there seems to be an intersection between humility and confidence within those individuals. Recognizing we are but an unworthy servants acting in obedience (Luke 17:10) and walking in the confidence that all things can be accomplished through Christ who strengthens us (Phil 4:13). This intersection we need to strive for is the place that the Holy Spirit thrives and moves in and people can see it and desire it. They're attracted to the Holy Spirit displaying its indescribably beauty and power within. What a gift to the host, the ...

  For the second night in a row I found myself having a dream in which I was under attack. Both around 2-3am. This isn't something new to me and honestly they don't hardly bother me that much anymore, as they once did. Sure, I'm super annoyed when I can't fall back to sleep (as it happened today). In the past I would have to go turn a light on and really put up a long drawn out fight against the attack. I would read the bible, listen to and sing worship music, watch sermons, and try my best to pray. It was really hard for me to pray because the voice of the enemy would be so loud and I felt like my prayers were a breathy whisper.  The further I walk with the Lord the more he continues to show me how I'm (and all believers are) a living ark of the covenant. We have within us the presence of His Holy Spirit. Where I go, so does He. I'm seeing and understanding more and more what he meant by us being able to move mountains with just the faith of a mustard seed (Mat...

  I'm just filled with so much gratitude for all the Godly people who have (and are pouring) into me throughout my life. Community is incredibly necessary and powerful. However, nothing beats the personal experiences we have when we are alone with the Lord.  When we were stationed in Vegas I went through a lot of personal struggles. I was severely hurt by a church, hurt in deep ways by other Christians who claimed to be friends but turned out to not be, was having some heart wrenching, depression inducing family issues, and on top of that was witnessing things I've never seen before while counseling. My mind, emotions and body were under attack.  But God! You see, up to that point (moving to Vegas) I would always seek other Christians further on their walk for guidance. I lovingly referred to them as spiritual mamas, as through them God healed so many childhood injuries and gave me motherly counsel. (I can’t express enough the importance of Godly counsel in your life and ...

 From time to time I get frustrated because I feel like God's word, my prayers and worship don't seem to penetrate my heart. I feel kinda numb, just going through the motions. I often hear other people stating their frustration with this as well. I believe we all go through it from time to time. For me, the closer and closer I get with staying on track with the Lord the more often I notice it. I don't think it's happening more, I honestly just think we notice it more. Our spirit becomes more sensitive to our proximity to the Lord.  Personally, when I notice this numbness, I intellectually know this means there is pain that my heart is avoiding, going away from and trying to protect from. We don't have the choice in regulating some of our heart; if we regulate it then it's all going to be restricted. So for me, the first step is going to the Lord and asking for him to help reveal what pain I am dealing with, what area am I side stepping. Then I know how to pray d...

  Believe it or not, we all have shortcomings. Not one of us are perfect, even if it may appear that way from your point of view. God has designed us all to fit together, to work together sharing our strengths and leaning on one another in our weaknesses. As I really think about this, I'm left with the question: What do you chose to do with your shortcomings? Do you hide them away, never to be discussed? Do you compensate for them with effort and determination? Do you give up on yourself and feel defeated by them?  One of the many reasons I love the Bible is that we get to see these people of God, chosen by God, in a true light. We get to see their successes and failures, weaknesses and strengths. We get to see how God uses them despite their, sometimes quite serious, mistakes. What a breath of fresh air to meditate on that. What sweet relief in knowing that we are all sinners, in need of a savior. The question again is, what are you going to do with your shortcomings? Will yo...

  Today I had a few different topics come to mind. I felt like I'm suppose to write about the one I'm currently struggling with...yay, fun stuff...  As I'm in my quiet time this morning I'm needing to pray and speak over myself again and again. I'm struggling with negativity, anxiety, criticism and it's difficult to admit but fear. I think of all the times I've spoken in haste, not bringing it to the Lord in prayer before addressing it with the person I am struggling with or with others in an attempt to vent and seek guidance. Even though prayer doesn't make the situation/annoyance/etc go away as we pray we are able to see it more and more from God's perspective. Even when we have legitimate complaints and grievances, it is so necessary to look to him for His vision of the situation, the other person and ourselves. We need to be careful to not give voice to the spirit of fear, bitterness, resentment, envy, greed...etc. As we pray, these spirits we ar...

  Just the name of this title might have given some of you a certain feeling. So many of us, more than likely all of us, to a certain degree have been hurt by others. Some of us have a real and painful struggle with interacting and being a part of a group. However, God tells us in many different ways that his design for us to heal, strengthen and thrive is in community. Many who struggle with groups or community also crave it and know they need it, but aren't quite sure what to do to overcome these intense and painful emotions. As with all things, God is leading us step by step. He invites us into healing opportunities. Small chances to stretch and grow in the areas we are suffering. Through our obedience to follow him in those moments, he blesses us and this encourages us to follow him deeper and deeper. In this deepening we are healed more and more profoundly and are able to reap and contribute to the amazing power of community. What area or step is God leading you into right now...

  Happy Resurrection Monday! Over these past few weeks the Lord keeps on showing me how sophisticated and intricate the ecosystem of his church is. The more we realize who we are in him, the stronger we become and the more we strengthen our church as a whole. When we walk more and more with the Lord, the passion that sparks in us makes us start to seek his direction more and more. In this process I believe that many of us start to wonder what we can do in ministry, are we called to preach, teach, evangelize? The short answer is yes. The Lord is calling us to make disciples, spread his love, and his word. However, like many things God's plan doesn't always look how we imagine it. We have the power of the Holy Spirit within us, we have the authority to change lives within us. When we walk into a room, so does the Lord. He has planted us all in different areas to touch many different pockets of society. There can only be so many leaders in a church building, however we can be his ...

  Have you ever been so excited about something, that it's difficult to organize your words in a way to communicate that excitement to others in a cohesive way? That's exactly how I feel about this topic! God is just so good, he's healed so many areas of my life and is continuing to do so. He loves us so much that he moves in big ways but also in smaller ways when we just can't handle the big ones. I know it's cliche but he really does heal us and bless us so we can be a blessing. But he also heals and blesses us through our obedience in following his lead in assisting others. We are designed to connect and love one another but all too often this is horribly difficult and painful to remain obedient. It can be really messy loving people, and even loving ourselves at times. We are sinners, we make mistakes, a lot... We are beautifully and wonderfully made but we struggle. God has us focus on us just long enough to heal and then he puts us back in action, back in the f...

  More and more I'm understanding our need for fresh encounters daily with the Lord. I see it so clearly in my life and over the years I notice that when I fall off track from this revelation, I am able to recognize it and jump back on the road faster and faster.  When pondering this notion of needing fresh encounters with God daily I started thinking about the wilderness. I love wilderness shows; the adventure, the risk, the grit, the beauty, and the struggles that strengthen us. But no matter what setting; whether it is in the forest, sea, desert, etc., it is so easy to stray from the course and get into trouble fast. Many things get us off the course: adverse weather, animals, other people, maybe even injuries or just plain old distractions. We have to remain intentional to stay on course so we do not get lost.  During my quiet time with the Lord this morning I was in Luke 9 when Peter, John and James went up a mountain with Jesus to pray. They were filled with terror ...