Letting go of the need to stick up for yourself

If I were to look back on my life I would say that the most amount of issues within any relationship seems to come from the need to defend oneself.  One or both people are offended by something and feel something deep down isn't right and they need to do something about it before it gets worse.  

Psychology would argue that it's an innate human instinct, the need to protect oneself. In fact many of us are taught to protect ourselves in many ways growing up and through life lessons due to our natural tendencies to be trusting and assuming the best in people.  

God calls us to be like children (Mat 18:2-6). When children are raised in healthy, supportive, loving homes they tend to be very trusting and assuming of the best in humanity.  Many of us as parents have to teach them to stand up for themselves.  In certain ways that's truly necessary.  However as life's pain accumulates we tend to get confused as to when it's necessary to stand up for ourselves and when it simply isn't.    

So whether we are fighting from the wounded side (the offended party) or we are fighting on the defensive side (standing up against the accusation of wrong doing) we are fighting the wrong fight.  Ephesians 6:12 (NLT) For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.  

On either side of the offense we need to recognize that the enemy wants to divide us.  He rejoices in destruction, in our choice of being offended and acting on our defense.  We need to step back and look at the big picture.  Look at all the examples in the bible of how God has your back.  Pray for one another, for each other to have strength to discern whether your desire to defend yourself is coming from a true need (one from God) or a false one (from the lord of liers).