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Showing posts from April, 2021

Training

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  I don't know about you but I struggle keeping a consistent exercise routine up without having a goal to be focused on. I walk to keep my cortisol levels down and move my body as it was designed for. For other exercises I typically need to have a goal of working on improving myself in a sport. The first time I went snowboarding I could only hang in there half a day before my back was done and that motivated me to do workouts specifically geared at improving snowboarding. Four weeks later when I hit the slopes again, I performed so much better and it didn't wear me out at all. This morning I was pondering this and how it's similar with the spiritual. Our daily exercises of praying, being in the word and worshiping become more focused, intentional and amplified when we have direction, a purpose and a place to outpour what we have been given.  Just like sports and physical exercise, our bodies are meant to move. We are designed to share our gifts, share what God's doing i

Unimaginable Love

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  As I read through Judges 7:1-8:21 I'm pondering why the Israelites say, "Oh God of Jacob, Abraham and Issac"? Is it to remind God's people that what God does for one follower, he can and will do for all? He shows up for believers and wants to display His unimaginable love. In Gideon's (Jerub-baal) story in this part of Judges, his army was reduced by the Lord from 22,000 to 10,000 to 300! That's a HUGE difference. For perspective, most basketball arenas hold around 20,000-22, 000 people and that's what he started with. Then the Lord reduced that by half. Which is already a significant cut. Then he reduced it down to 300. 300! My daughter's graduating high school class had more in it than that in Las Vegas. The Lord did this because he wanted His people to know without a shadow of doubt that it was His doing, not their own.  Then, he made provision for Gideon's unsteady feeling from reducing his troops by drastic measures by giving him a specific

Stretching

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  I'm a body person, meaning I've always enjoyed playing sports, thrived in PE class and just can feel my body's need to be active. As I get older my body gets stiff a lot easier, it's not quite as flexible and discomfort seems to be a regular thing. I was playing beach volleyball yesterday for a few hours and I don't know how to be all or nothing with sports, so today I'm quite stiff!  I look at my son and remember what it's like to be so flexible that it is actually difficult to stretch muscles out. In the spiritual it's the same for him, his boldness makes him not even notice or appreciate where God is stretching him at times. He just walks through it with an open posture. Me on the other hand...wow I feel every stretch God puts on me lately. I have a specific look, an attitude on my face that says, "yeah I'll do it but God it would be nice if you could just let me chill a while".  In the natural I think about all of the benefits of stre

Seeds

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As I sit this morning reflecting on the past week I'm thinking about how important it is to be grounded in God's word. Our enemy is so cunning and the stronger we get and further we get on our Christian walk the more covert the attacks can become. Or possibly we missed a lot of the smaller nuances and are just more attuned to what he's throwing our way.  My mind keeps going to this notion that the most well intentioned Christian brother and sister (and us towards others too) could be unintentionally planting seeds within us that harvest weeds and not fruit bearing trees. Well, because none of us are perfect and areas of our heart still need mending and healing. These areas of hurt within us can muddle up our advice. Without being aware we can plant seeds of fear, division, carnality, and pride. Once again, this doesn't mean we should avoid community. We need to grow, live, grieve and celebrate together. Our power is in sharing of our continual testimony with one another

Slippery Slope of Self Improvement

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  I have been prayerfully seeking the best way to communicate what is on my heart about this topic and for the focus to be based in the word. As a professional counselor, I can without a doubt say that self improvement can lead many further away from the Lord opposed to closer. Just for sake of clarity and transparency, I began seeking counseling the first time in my early 20's due to emotional distress. I was in emotional and mental agony. I was tormented by suicidal thoughts, and often times spirits of fear, depression, self hatred would consume me. I needed help. Sadly, this type of counseling just focused more and more on me and wasn't helpful long term. I could white knuckle it and change my behavior for a period of time but the attacks would eventually wear me out again. The messages I received from the counseling and self help community was that I needed to dig deeper into myself and gather more tools, practice more...etc. All that was reinforcing was that I needed to be

Best Investment

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 I'm so very thankful that I have had people teach me about the importance of spending time with the Lord. I can't proclaim that enough! Initially, I didn't quite see the payout or immediate benefits but over time I realized how much I need that time every day. Earlier on my walk I would just notice my emotional life (and resulting decisions) would get messier and messier as time went on without me having my alone time in the word, praying and worshiping. However, that was just a turning point. I feel like as time goes on, my alone time with the Lord just gets more and more saturated with His love, healing, guidance, peace and direction. I not only know I need it, I crave it. I always have more pieces of my heart that need mending. Life is painful and sometimes we are faced with situations we can not do anything about at all. It can be completely heartbreaking. The only true and pure comfort we receive is from the Lord, His supernatural peace. The only sure thing we can put

Painfully Waiting

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  For years I was praying, believing, crying, grieving, almost giving up, holding on for dear life, praising and waiting. I'm finally on the other side of that now, walking in victory and enjoying a shifted perspective. Don't get me wrong, I still have issues and problems but I just see it differently and am more focused on the goodness of God. I'm now contemplating what I learned, what God showed me, and how to pass that on as encouragement to other's still in the thick of their battle(s).  What stands out to me is an anchor, presented as a promise from the Lord. The bible is filled with promises over our lives for those who believe and follow Him. Find your specific promise. Meditate on it regularly and continuing to seek the Lord as to what in your heart needs to fall into alignment with Him. He wants so much more for you than to deliver you from that pain. He wants to grow your understanding of who you are in Him, His love for you, His plans for you, and the power o

Personally Experiencing the Lord

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  I've been finding myself reflecting a lot lately on different types of people. Christians and non Christians alike. I am just observing and taking it in, non judgmentally. This focus started when my son started inquiring about the different denominations and why we have so many. I'm always looking for the boiled down, most basic simple answer because that's where I believe the truth lives. When we read the bible, it is constantly taking super complex concepts and ideas and making them basic and palatable for everyone who seeks to understand. When our hearts soften toward the Lord, and our eyes begin to open we start to see more and more of the beautiful simplicity that is within a complex and unfathomable God.   The more I observe, the more I see that personal experiences with the Lord regularly transform people. Many of us walk around with lots of knowledge and that's great but the Holy Spirit is what transforms us. We need to seek him regularly so our point of view

Pain in the Struggle

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  I don't know about you, but I have certain areas that I fight God on, having a hard time truly giving these areas to Him. Fully trusting Him, fully obeying Him in those moments that feel so raw, vulnerable and scary. In this season I've been dealing with really letting go of worrying what other people think of me. Don't get me wrong, in secular standards and even by many Christian's standards I don't have an unhealthy amount of anxiety or worry attached to the opinions of other people. However, God has exposed a few pockets where this gets in the way of me living my full life with Him and having Him shine bright through me. I get words of encouragement, visions, wisdom and prophecy for people at different times. Well, lately it's been quite often...if I'm honest, at times it's a bit too often. I don't want people to confuse my actions as someone trying to get attention or glory. I honestly have struggled with that surrounding writing in this blog a

Reflection

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  As I walked the shoreline this morning I noticed all of the objects reflecting the same hue the sun was shining. Reminding me once again, we don’t bring the light, we don’t power the light. All we do I align ourself with Christ and he illuminated us. We become a beacon in the darkness. As I look around, I notice that even dull, lifeless objects are getting illuminated. Whew, then I think about the glass that has taken years of beating from these salty, wet winds.  Pitted reflective surfaces are more attractive to the eye, it glimmers. We are even more attractive when we don’t glaze over our shortcomings and act like we have it all together. When we walk in humility, admitting we are weak and nothing without Christ we sparkle, reflecting even more facets of the Lord. ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭ “But he answered me, “My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.” So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense m

Attraction

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  Have you ever noticed how some people just draw other people toward them? From my point of view some people draw others near, seemingly effortlessly; while others seem to lure them in. Obviously there are many people in between but I'm talking about people that act like magnets. Just like in the kingdom of God, there seems to be negatively charged magnets and positively charged magnets.  When I notice positively charged magnets in the body of Christ, there seems to be an intersection between humility and confidence within those individuals. Recognizing we are but an unworthy servants acting in obedience (Luke 17:10) and walking in the confidence that all things can be accomplished through Christ who strengthens us (Phil 4:13). This intersection we need to strive for is the place that the Holy Spirit thrives and moves in and people can see it and desire it. They're attracted to the Holy Spirit displaying its indescribably beauty and power within. What a gift to the host, the c

Wake Up Call

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  For the second night in a row I found myself having a dream in which I was under attack. Both around 2-3am. This isn't something new to me and honestly they don't hardly bother me that much anymore, as they once did. Sure, I'm super annoyed when I can't fall back to sleep (as it happened today). In the past I would have to go turn a light on and really put up a long drawn out fight against the attack. I would read the bible, listen to and sing worship music, watch sermons, and try my best to pray. It was really hard for me to pray because the voice of the enemy would be so loud and I felt like my prayers were a breathy whisper.  The further I walk with the Lord the more he continues to show me how I'm (and all believers are) a living ark of the covenant. We have within us the presence of His Holy Spirit. Where I go, so does He. I'm seeing and understanding more and more what he meant by us being able to move mountains with just the faith of a mustard seed (Mat

Alone with the Lord

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  I'm just filled with so much gratitude for all the Godly people who have (and are pouring) into me throughout my life. Community is incredibly necessary and powerful. However, nothing beats the personal experiences we have when we are alone with the Lord.  When we were stationed in Vegas I went through a lot of personal struggles. I was severely hurt by a church, hurt in deep ways by other Christians who claimed to be friends but turned out to not be, was having some heart wrenching, depression inducing family issues, and on top of that was witnessing things I've never seen before while counseling. My mind, emotions and body were under attack.  But God! You see, up to that point (moving to Vegas) I would always seek other Christians further on their walk for guidance. I lovingly referred to them as spiritual mamas, as through them God healed so many childhood injuries and gave me motherly counsel. (I can’t express enough the importance of Godly counsel in your life and being

Numb

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 From time to time I get frustrated because I feel like God's word, my prayers and worship don't seem to penetrate my heart. I feel kinda numb, just going through the motions. I often hear other people stating their frustration with this as well. I believe we all go through it from time to time. For me, the closer and closer I get with staying on track with the Lord the more often I notice it. I don't think it's happening more, I honestly just think we notice it more. Our spirit becomes more sensitive to our proximity to the Lord.  Personally, when I notice this numbness, I intellectually know this means there is pain that my heart is avoiding, going away from and trying to protect from. We don't have the choice in regulating some of our heart; if we regulate it then it's all going to be restricted. So for me, the first step is going to the Lord and asking for him to help reveal what pain I am dealing with, what area am I side stepping. Then I know how to pray d

Choosing Wisely

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  Believe it or not, we all have shortcomings. Not one of us are perfect, even if it may appear that way from your point of view. God has designed us all to fit together, to work together sharing our strengths and leaning on one another in our weaknesses. As I really think about this, I'm left with the question: What do you chose to do with your shortcomings? Do you hide them away, never to be discussed? Do you compensate for them with effort and determination? Do you give up on yourself and feel defeated by them?  One of the many reasons I love the Bible is that we get to see these people of God, chosen by God, in a true light. We get to see their successes and failures, weaknesses and strengths. We get to see how God uses them despite their, sometimes quite serious, mistakes. What a breath of fresh air to meditate on that. What sweet relief in knowing that we are all sinners, in need of a savior. The question again is, what are you going to do with your shortcomings? Will you all

Speaking Life

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  Today I had a few different topics come to mind. I felt like I'm suppose to write about the one I'm currently struggling with...yay, fun stuff...  As I'm in my quiet time this morning I'm needing to pray and speak over myself again and again. I'm struggling with negativity, anxiety, criticism and it's difficult to admit but fear. I think of all the times I've spoken in haste, not bringing it to the Lord in prayer before addressing it with the person I am struggling with or with others in an attempt to vent and seek guidance. Even though prayer doesn't make the situation/annoyance/etc go away as we pray we are able to see it more and more from God's perspective. Even when we have legitimate complaints and grievances, it is so necessary to look to him for His vision of the situation, the other person and ourselves. We need to be careful to not give voice to the spirit of fear, bitterness, resentment, envy, greed...etc. As we pray, these spirits we ar

Community

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  Just the name of this title might have given some of you a certain feeling. So many of us, more than likely all of us, to a certain degree have been hurt by others. Some of us have a real and painful struggle with interacting and being a part of a group. However, God tells us in many different ways that his design for us to heal, strengthen and thrive is in community. Many who struggle with groups or community also crave it and know they need it, but aren't quite sure what to do to overcome these intense and painful emotions. As with all things, God is leading us step by step. He invites us into healing opportunities. Small chances to stretch and grow in the areas we are suffering. Through our obedience to follow him in those moments, he blesses us and this encourages us to follow him deeper and deeper. In this deepening we are healed more and more profoundly and are able to reap and contribute to the amazing power of community. What area or step is God leading you into right now

Thrive Where You're Planted

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  Happy Resurrection Monday! Over these past few weeks the Lord keeps on showing me how sophisticated and intricate the ecosystem of his church is. The more we realize who we are in him, the stronger we become and the more we strengthen our church as a whole. When we walk more and more with the Lord, the passion that sparks in us makes us start to seek his direction more and more. In this process I believe that many of us start to wonder what we can do in ministry, are we called to preach, teach, evangelize? The short answer is yes. The Lord is calling us to make disciples, spread his love, and his word. However, like many things God's plan doesn't always look how we imagine it. We have the power of the Holy Spirit within us, we have the authority to change lives within us. When we walk into a room, so does the Lord. He has planted us all in different areas to touch many different pockets of society. There can only be so many leaders in a church building, however we can be his

Healing to Heal Others

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  Have you ever been so excited about something, that it's difficult to organize your words in a way to communicate that excitement to others in a cohesive way? That's exactly how I feel about this topic! God is just so good, he's healed so many areas of my life and is continuing to do so. He loves us so much that he moves in big ways but also in smaller ways when we just can't handle the big ones. I know it's cliche but he really does heal us and bless us so we can be a blessing. But he also heals and blesses us through our obedience in following his lead in assisting others. We are designed to connect and love one another but all too often this is horribly difficult and painful to remain obedient. It can be really messy loving people, and even loving ourselves at times. We are sinners, we make mistakes, a lot... We are beautifully and wonderfully made but we struggle. God has us focus on us just long enough to heal and then he puts us back in action, back in the f

Fresh Daily

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  More and more I'm understanding our need for fresh encounters daily with the Lord. I see it so clearly in my life and over the years I notice that when I fall off track from this revelation, I am able to recognize it and jump back on the road faster and faster.  When pondering this notion of needing fresh encounters with God daily I started thinking about the wilderness. I love wilderness shows; the adventure, the risk, the grit, the beauty, and the struggles that strengthen us. But no matter what setting; whether it is in the forest, sea, desert, etc., it is so easy to stray from the course and get into trouble fast. Many things get us off the course: adverse weather, animals, other people, maybe even injuries or just plain old distractions. We have to remain intentional to stay on course so we do not get lost.  During my quiet time with the Lord this morning I was in Luke 9 when Peter, John and James went up a mountain with Jesus to pray. They were filled with terror when a dar