Clarity

I find it so funny looking back at the various points in time when I thought I had it all figured out.  I thought I understood how the world worked and how everyone else acted.  Like most girls, that started at a young age.  I thought I saw the world so clearly but I was living with blinders on.  I only knew my limited perspective.  Then again in my 20's I thought I saw enough of the world and the various types of people to understand the patterns and motives.  It didn't help that I'm intuitive and received two degrees in psychology.  

In my late twenties, early thirties my whole understanding and belief system started to crack.  The more I kept seeking out God and learning more the more my old foundation cracked.  For a good long time I wasn't willing to fully trust and live for God, I keep trying to gather all the broken pieces I had from before and stand on those.  It didn't really work.  

I got to the point where I felt so incredibly lost, hopeless and confused.  I didn't quite understand enough about God and his word but I also knew that this world wasn't for me.  I was kind of in a self made purgatory.  I was a complete wreck.  However, the more I search for answers and look to see what path God had for me the more assurance I find.  I still have blurry, confused vision from time to time but I'm learning to seek the answers from him, his word and people that I trust who also look to him.  The more I see and realize his character and his plans the more my vision seems to be corrected.