Trust

I have been someone who anyone could see as independent from a very young age.  I am a self-proclaimed Jill of all trades.  I haven't came across a challenge that I couldn't conquer, at least to a passable standard.  I use to be so proud of that.  If I put my mind to it, I could do it.  Although to be honest I was unhappy because it made it difficult to figure out what I truly love and stick to it so I could master it.  Regardless, I didn't need anyone, so I thought.  I could do it all myself or I would kill myself trying.  

Slowly over the time of our marriage we have settled into some gender roles.  For the first part of our marriage this causes some major issues.  He got offended if I did yard work and that made my feminist thermometer overheat!  He wouldn't help with the house or the kids and would tell me I needed to tell him when I needed help.  That pissed me off because I didn't think it was my job to tell him things needed to be done; see a need fill a need.  However, I slowly started to leave all of the "man stuff" that he seemed to enjoy to do and feel responsible to do to him.  I kept doing more of the cooking and would start just giving him a warning when I was getting to my almost irritated point of him not helping with stuff around the house.  Slowly over time he does help out but it's usually in his own time, not mine but it's finally working out over the years.  I feel less stressed and we finally work as a team with him mostly doing the handy work and heavy lifting and me managing the house.

Interesting enough there was/are still areas that are being worked out.  Military families can attest that moves across the country and/or to other countries do a lot of work on your relationship whether you like it or not.  Sitting back as the dust from the move is settling I can say I learned from this move that my lack of trust in my husband seems to be a direct reflection of my trust level in God.  I seem to be able to trust my husband more as I trust God more.  I'm not 100% sure why, but I have a theory that it is because I know that ultimately God has me and if I let go and let God work I can see him working on my husband too.  The more I trust the Lord the more I can see that all of the things I used to think matter and determine my safety and security were just an illusion--all good things come from God.  

James 1:17 New Living Translation (NLT)

17 Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.[a] He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.