Levels of Intimacy
Intimacy is an interesting subject but it can be so important in growing our maturity through balancing boundaries with people.
Whether we recognize it or not, we all have certain levels of boundaries that we maintain with people. One level for complete stranger, another for someone we find creepy on the subway, another for semi-friends, and so on. We don't all have the same levels of boundaries at the respective levels, that's more of a personal thing.
I started thinking more on this subject when I was thinking of ways to talk to my kids about ideal verses not ideal friends. It's such a sensitive topic and understandably so. This topic seemed more important to me now that we moved to Las Vegas and gangs are such a huge problem no matter how nice the area you live in. And they are recruiting younger and younger...
So, I start to bring up the subject with my kids. The same little people I have taught to be nice no matter what, to extend themselves for those who seem hurting, who I'm proud of for standing up for those being mistreated or hurting. Right off the jump, my son was adamantly against the notion of being careful who you are deciding to have as close friends. He has such a beautiful heart and I admire that in him.
I broke it down like this: look at the life of Jesus. Within his circle of friends he had his closer few, then he had the friends but not quite as intimate, then he had the people he ministered to. He wasn't close and intimate with those people from what we read. Scripture goes over and over the warning for us to guard our minds and our hearts. We need to surround ourselves with people who we are equally yoked with AND THEN lift up those around us that need us. We can still be friends with those that have their hearts set on the wrong path but we need to be grounded in our faith and be in communion with those that can help us remain grounded.
Please don't hear this as a call to being judgmental. Honestly speaking my closest friend isn't a believer but whether she knows it or not, she acts like one. She lives a life like one more than many other people I know who are believers. But I also have many sisters in Christ that keep me grounded in my faith.
Just some interesting things to ponder....
Whether we recognize it or not, we all have certain levels of boundaries that we maintain with people. One level for complete stranger, another for someone we find creepy on the subway, another for semi-friends, and so on. We don't all have the same levels of boundaries at the respective levels, that's more of a personal thing.
I started thinking more on this subject when I was thinking of ways to talk to my kids about ideal verses not ideal friends. It's such a sensitive topic and understandably so. This topic seemed more important to me now that we moved to Las Vegas and gangs are such a huge problem no matter how nice the area you live in. And they are recruiting younger and younger...
So, I start to bring up the subject with my kids. The same little people I have taught to be nice no matter what, to extend themselves for those who seem hurting, who I'm proud of for standing up for those being mistreated or hurting. Right off the jump, my son was adamantly against the notion of being careful who you are deciding to have as close friends. He has such a beautiful heart and I admire that in him.
I broke it down like this: look at the life of Jesus. Within his circle of friends he had his closer few, then he had the friends but not quite as intimate, then he had the people he ministered to. He wasn't close and intimate with those people from what we read. Scripture goes over and over the warning for us to guard our minds and our hearts. We need to surround ourselves with people who we are equally yoked with AND THEN lift up those around us that need us. We can still be friends with those that have their hearts set on the wrong path but we need to be grounded in our faith and be in communion with those that can help us remain grounded.
Please don't hear this as a call to being judgmental. Honestly speaking my closest friend isn't a believer but whether she knows it or not, she acts like one. She lives a life like one more than many other people I know who are believers. But I also have many sisters in Christ that keep me grounded in my faith.
Just some interesting things to ponder....
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