What they don't tell you
While growing up, I always had plenty to say. Few and far between were the times when I didn't know what to say, or when I over thought what I said. I had no problem speaking my mind, as ridiculous or wrong I may have been. In fact, my mouth is usually where my problems started and ended for me. As a grade school-er I recall getting in big trouble (aka Opa had to pick me up from school) because I cussed out the gym teacher for never picking me as a coach and only picking boys. I always got notes sent home about excessive talking and got busted plenty of times staying up all night on the phone.
Something happened to me. It wasn't instant, in fact it crept up on me. After I was saved in my early twenties I still spoke freely, without too much worry. However, as I dug in an learned more and more about God, scripture, and grew in my faith, I somehow also grew in being self-conscious about every little thing that came out of my mouth. I was constantly feeling embarrassed, feeling like a fool, feeling like I looked like an idiot afterwards, fearful that I said something that might have hurt another persons feelings if they took it the wrong way. My anxiety around speaking grew worse and worse.
Then I started to realize that it was because of a few new things were changing in me. One, I actually knew and understood the power in what we speak. Additionally, I actually cared how other people felt. Of course I did before but that was honestly more about me than them...I use to only care so they wouldn't dislike me. I was looking for approval. Now, I actually care about people and how they feel; feelings about me aside. Two, I'm growing in my faith. Everyday God is revealing more and more of his character to me and I am sharing it. I'm willing to bet that doesn't make the devil happy. He never messed with me before about my mouth because I was inadvertently working for him. Gossip, hateful words, over-opinionated rants that stirred up anger in others, I discussed the occult, and I would discuss the intellect of why God isn't real (so I thought). I was indeed working for him.
No one really talks about this. Or at least I never heard anything like this. I didn't realize that the more my faith grew the more I would be under attack. The more I work for God the more I have to protect myself. Sure we hear some verses about armoring up but honestly I didn't know I would be attacked in new ways. He's definitely sneaky.
The good news is that we can operate in a place of victory. The devil is fighting back hard because he's cornered and knows he is defeated. God never promises us a cushy, pain free life on earth but he does promise us an eternity with him in freedom without pain.
Something happened to me. It wasn't instant, in fact it crept up on me. After I was saved in my early twenties I still spoke freely, without too much worry. However, as I dug in an learned more and more about God, scripture, and grew in my faith, I somehow also grew in being self-conscious about every little thing that came out of my mouth. I was constantly feeling embarrassed, feeling like a fool, feeling like I looked like an idiot afterwards, fearful that I said something that might have hurt another persons feelings if they took it the wrong way. My anxiety around speaking grew worse and worse.
Then I started to realize that it was because of a few new things were changing in me. One, I actually knew and understood the power in what we speak. Additionally, I actually cared how other people felt. Of course I did before but that was honestly more about me than them...I use to only care so they wouldn't dislike me. I was looking for approval. Now, I actually care about people and how they feel; feelings about me aside. Two, I'm growing in my faith. Everyday God is revealing more and more of his character to me and I am sharing it. I'm willing to bet that doesn't make the devil happy. He never messed with me before about my mouth because I was inadvertently working for him. Gossip, hateful words, over-opinionated rants that stirred up anger in others, I discussed the occult, and I would discuss the intellect of why God isn't real (so I thought). I was indeed working for him.
No one really talks about this. Or at least I never heard anything like this. I didn't realize that the more my faith grew the more I would be under attack. The more I work for God the more I have to protect myself. Sure we hear some verses about armoring up but honestly I didn't know I would be attacked in new ways. He's definitely sneaky.
The good news is that we can operate in a place of victory. The devil is fighting back hard because he's cornered and knows he is defeated. God never promises us a cushy, pain free life on earth but he does promise us an eternity with him in freedom without pain.
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